Wandering the World

There was an man with a normal life and normal responsibilities. Wife, kids, mortgage. He had a soul-killing job that paid the bills. He hated his job, but he got up every day and did it, with no complaints.

When he could find the time, in the evenings and on the weekends, he worked on building a beautiful big sailboat. Slowly, painstakingly, as the years went by and he became middle-aged, the boat got more and more beautiful. He poured his heart and soul into every inch, making sure it was just right.

When things got tough at work, or with the kids, or with someone’s health, he’d tell his wife, “Honey, one day I’m going to retire, and you and I will finally take off in this beautiful boat, and see the world! Just you wait!”

Finally, the big day arrived. He turned 65, retired from his job, and came home excited. The boat was done, perfect and ready, his retirement finances were all in place. At long last, after 40 years, it was time to begin his real life. He said to his wife, “Okay, it’s time. Let’s start finalizing our plans. Should we sell the house and invest the money, or keep it and rent it out?”

His wife said “Honey, we need to talk. I never thought you were serious about this crazy idea. This was your dream, it kept you going all these years, but it was never my dream. I never wanted to see the world on a sailboat. This is my home, and I like it. I’m staying here. You’ll have to choose.”

So he gave up his dream, sold the beautiful sailboat, and stayed home with his wife. He took up golf and the Travel Channel on TV, and visited with the kids and grandkids.

After a while, he stopped thinking about it so much.

It occurs to me as I study the 450 so-far-not accomplished things on my list that I’d better start prioritizing and making a plan. So here is my current top eleven, and how long I think each will take.

1. Hot air balloon over the Serengeti – 1 day
2. Spend the night in an over-water hut in Tahiti – 1 day
3. Africa trip – Namibia, Botswana, Zambia, Mozambique, Tanzania, Madagascar – 3-6 months
4. Become a true minimalist – no more than 100 possessions. A steady process. I hope to be done winnowing in a few months.
5. Study yoga at an ashram – 3 months
6. Go hang gliding somewhere spectacular – 1 day
7. Explore the wine districts of France – 1 month
8. White-water raft the Zambezi – 1 week
9. Study meditation in a monastery – 3 months
10. Explore the rest of the Caribbean – 3-6 months
11. Explore the rest of Australia – 3-6 months

Fiji looks a little like Hawaii, but the water… the water is even more stunning.  Bands of turquoise and aqua, layer upon layer, stretching out to the horizon.  Mesmerizing tropical eye candy… we spent hours just gaping. Tom Hanks’ “Castaway” was filmed here.

Smiling, friendly natives, happy to share a bowl of kava and a song. We stayed at Octopus Resort on Waya island, pictured above – it has a a great reef just steps off the beach.

Our little boat was greeted (Bula! is hello) by singing natives on the beach. Fantastic snorkeling and diving.  I’d like to spend three months exploring the other parts of the country someday, especially the more primitive and remote parts that still work on the tribal system. Another trip.

I read this anecdote years ago, and it stayed with me.

In 1945 there was a young man, an aspiring writer, released from the army when WW2 ended. He deeply admired William Faulkner, so he decided to hitchhike all the way down to Faulkner’s home in Oxford, Mississippi to get some advice. All he had was his uniform and a small satchel.

When he got there, Faulkner was sitting on his porch, drinking lemonade. Uninvited, the young man entered the yard and boldly approached him. Luckily, Faulkner had a soft spot for vets, and invited him to sit.

Overwhelmed, all his carefully planned questions about writing fled the young man’s mind. In a panic, he instead blurted out: “How can I become wise?”

The great writer sat and thought about this question for almost 20 minutes, without saying a word. Finally he looked at the young man and said “Travel as much as you can. And read as much as you can.”

Seems like pretty sage council, to me.

…unless you love water sports more than anything. If you’d rather play in the waves than do anything else, you might find happiness here. If swimming, surfing, diving, snorkeling, fishing or boating are your thing, fine. If not, you might be better off pursuing a different dream.

If you love golf and warm weather and don’t like Florida or Arizona, you have a chance.

People move to Hawaii from the mainland all the time. Lots of people dream of paradise. Most of them last a year or two, then go back. The reason boils down to this: Hawaii is mostly water. Clear, warm, gorgeous blue water. The land areas are fairly small. If you’re a land person, not a water person, you’ll probably get frustrated by your lack of options. Island fever is a real thing, for land people.

On the other hand, if you’d rather surf or snorkel than do almost anything else…if the only time you feel graceful is when you’re swimming, then…aloha!

When people asked me why I was moving to Hawaii, I would answer “Because there’s a chance there is no heaven. I want mine now.”

The first time I visited Hawaii was a short trip to Maui in 1986.  I knew instantly: this is the place for me. When I’d finally saved enough, I bought a tiny ocean-front condo (one bedroom, about 550 square feet) in Kona, rented it out to holidayers for a few years, then moved here full time in 2007. Here’s the view from the condo. In the mornings, you can see the tropical fish in the breaking waves. In the evenings, the sun melts into the sea.

Bali is like a secret garden. Just when you’re getting fed up with the heat, rain, or beggars, you’ll peek behind a wall and get a glimpse of something breathtaking.

An intricately carved temple in a perfect garden. A huge ancient statue carved into a cliffside, deep in a steaming jungle. An endless vista of palm trees and rice paddies. Almost daily religious festivals, and constant small spiritual rituals. Friendly people, beaches and beer. Bali has a lot to offer.

As an island of hindu culture surrounded by a muslim nation, Bali has evolved its own unique style of spirituality.

There are a lot of western “seekers” hanging out, thinking about enlightenment, doing yoga and meditation.

It’s inexpensive to visit. It’s a stunningly beautiful tropical jewel. A great place to practice your spiritual quest, whatever its form. The people are sweet and innocent – don’t order a margarita unless you want to teach the bartender how to make one.

Clouds reflected in a fishpond at a jungle temple near Ubud, Bali. January 2008.

.

The air may be a bit sooty, and the smell inside the tomb may be a bit…footy…but don’t miss this spectacular jewel. Many world treasures don’t live up to their hype. This one does. It’s not only humanity’s greatest monument to love, it’s probably the most beautiful building in the world. Much bigger and even more perfect than expected – a true world treasure.  India may be a largely Hindu nation and the birthplace of Buddhism, but, ironically, its defining branding-icon is a Muslim tomb.

Step out onto the ledge. Stare down at your impending death. Every cell in your body feels suddenly sick.

My first jump was over a parking lot, at an outdoor concert. There were about 5000 people waiting to get in when a big crane-truck pulled up and started selling bungee jumps for $20 each. My friends thought I was nuts.

I paid, stepped onto a platform, and the crane lifted me to about 200 feet. The bungee cord itself was surprising. Nothing like a regular bungee cord – about eight inches thick and connected to a heavy, reassuring chest harness. Below, the pavement looked very hard.

They need quick jumps so they can lower the crane for the next person. Speed equals profit. They can’t afford to have customers chicken out, or waste a lot of time getting up their courage.

They have ways to prevent this. The guy gets out a bullhorn and starts yelling at the crowd below: “Okay, let’s count him down to his big jump! Everybody!” The crowd roared, and started counting down – Five! Four! Three….

If I chickened out, like every one of my cells wanted, there would be 5000 people laughing at me. That’s when I realized that sometimes, the fear of embarrassment is greater than the fear of death. I jumped.

This was my third jump, years later, off the Victoria Falls bridge between Zambia and Zimbabwe in March, 2008. Mine was the last jump of the day because a storm was coming in and lightening sometimes hits the bridge. It was 370 feet down. Crocodiles in the Zambezi river below. Unforgettable.

I was 25. I’d finished college and had been accepted into law school.  I was working at a medical lab to earn money for it. I’d been with the same girl for a long time. I expected that we would get married some day. Grad school, career, marriage, kids. Probably a life in the suburbs, like our parents.

Then we broke up. Surprise…

I went camping in Big Sur for a few days. Sitting in the forest, looking at the waves, I had an epiphany. I was suddenly, truly free. All bets were off. What do you do when you can do anything?

I asked myself: what do you really want from life? On your deathbed, how will you feel when you examine your life?

That’s when I realized that what I really wanted was to take a two-year trip around the world.

I would do it cheap – camping, hitch hiking, hostels. I realized I would need a lot more money than what I had saved. My family was always struggling, and no one would lend me money to bum around the world.

Law school could wait. And I could borrow for that, later.

So I took a second full-time job. Now I was working the graveyard shift at one place, and all day at the lab. No time for sleep. No time to spend money. I was focused. The money started adding up.

It took two years to save enough. It was exhausting, but then I quit my jobs and started my dream trip. I ran out of money after thirteen months, and never made it around the world that trip, but it was still epic. As it turned out, I never went to law school.

I think we need to carefully listen to our hearts to find what we really want – not the voices of our family, friends, teachers, and especially not the media. And not our chattering “monkey-minds” – the problem-solving part of our brains obsessed with planning and worrying and regretting. All those voices can fill our heads until we can’t hear our own hearts.

Someone told me once: “If you’re not sure, go somewhere quiet until you can hear it. Camping is good. Backpacking is better. Prayer, meditation – do a fast and a vision quest. Or just pack some food and go sit in a quiet dark closet until all the outside voices stop – that works, too. Whatever it takes. After all, what’s more important than identifying our dreams, then realizing them?”

“You must commit to making it happen. Devote yourself to your dream, wholeheartedly. No excuses. This commitment is more important than anything else in your life.”

I think he was right.

I posted this photo for those people wondering if I’m the same Chris Garske they remember. I’m the one who grew up in the Bay Area, went to Ygnacio, DVC and UCSB, then went to work in the video game industry. Now I live in Hawaii, in Kona. This photo was taken in 2010 in Big Sur, California.